Hello all, I am a married man, father of 4, 3 of which who live with me. Like most, I am feeling the strain of the economy and am currently unemployed. My daughter, who I have been paying child support on for 12 years has had a lack of child support this year due to the crunch in my household. Not that I would not do anything in this world for her, because I would. Just like my other 3. But just this past week, I had a hearing for child support arrears. I was nervous as it was just going into a courtroom. Her mother and I rode together (yes, we do get along) and got there and waited to be called back. Of course someone from the DCSE spoke with each of us....and when speaking to me was pretty belligerent, but I took it for what it was. I should have sensed what was about to occur in the courtroom based on this, but I did not. We get in there, and the first thing I did was try to communicate with the lady (who I found out during the conversation was a lawyer for the Division of Child Support Enforcement) about what had been going on so we could all be on the same page. See, my unemployment, due to when I was let go, ended up being way less than what it would have been a month and a half later. Something to do with the quarters and all that. Don't understand it all that much, but whatever. First thing out of her mouth....does my electric not get shut off if I dont pay it. Well....lady, you hit the nail on the head. Sure does, its happened twice this year. Had to hand over an arm and a leg to get them to turn it back on. But enough on that. Judge walks in, and the insanity ensues.
Between the Judge and the lawyer, I was in the middle of a full on assault that rocked my sanity. Why this, why that, all to be shot down with every answer I gave them. Due to me living in Maryland, they could not suspend my license which prompted them to talk about jail. Remember, Christmas is around the corner, and I have 4 little ones I would love to spend it with, but no matter to them. Its not like I have not done everything in my power. The only answer I had for them was when my taxes came back, they were going to pay everything off in full, so I was trying to not stress it as much as I actually was. Not good enough for them. They jacked my monthly support UP by $123. Yes...no cents there....dollars! So I was having trouble paying what I was before, so my punishment is to jack the amount up. And better news....payment must be in by.......yep....December 25th, and another by January 25th. So if I return there in February and have not gotten these amounts in by the set dates...I go to jail. Yes, good fathers out there who are having issues....they will do this to you! So at this point, I will have to make the payments and hope for the best in my household. I guess if me, my wife and 3 other kids end up on the street, well, it is okay, because the other child has that support. One for the price of 5.
So why am I writing all of this. I just need to get it out there. I am not going into all of the details....like I want to, but giving a fair summary of events that took place. The Child Support system in Delaware is haggard. It needs a makeover. They need to look at ordering, first off the child in question, as long as both parents want to be present in the child's life, to be in both parents homes for equal time. That way the child support is fair. At this point, they give me no credit for the time I do see her, but I think if they worked out a way to do a true joint custody, the payments would have been a little bit easier to bear, and I could have made them in full every month. And not to mention, gotten to see my daughter an awful lot more than I do. Which in my books is the most positive thing that could come from it. But as it stands, I have no real answers. I just know im looking for work, and will feel much better when I find it. And no...im not going to work at Micky Ds!. I cant afford to work to pay daycare and child support and not bring anything into the house. Its not about the one child, its about my 4 children and my wife and myself. Not to mention, I know, even though we get along, that the child support money is not being spent on my daughter. I truly wish there were a way to prove it, but you are not allowed to even ask in the courtroom. I know, I tried when we first went to court about it. Got shot down and looked at like a low down dirty deadbeat dad!
Anyhow, I am sure there will be plenty of views on this, some for me, some against me, but all I can say for those going against me on this, is to think about my family that is living in my household. I know her household is taken care of, despite the fact her live in boyfriend still claims living at his folks. Trust me, if I had it to pay, I certainly would with no arguments whatsoever. Its just surprising, no more than I owe in back support....how much hassle they put me through. And you would think that with me on unemployment, they would give me a little room....but oh well. It is what it is, and won't change until enough of us stand up and say that we won't take it anymore!
